What the hell am I doing?

There comes a part in most people’s lives when they think, “what the hell am I doing?”.

It mostly comes after school, where you get spoon fed unnecessary information until you passed your GCSEs, and perhaps A Levels (no idea what they’re called in other countries)., then you have no idea where you want to go in life because you’ve never actually thought for yourself…you probably didn’t even decide what you were going to eat.

But mine come at such random moments… like when I’m scooping peanut butter/ Nutella out of the jar with my finger a spoon by the half tub. Or when I spend hours playing The Sims. Including making a family, building a house and won’t rest until I’ve gone through 3 generations to build a foundation for the family (the addiction is real). When I should be doing university work (reading about soil).

I mean… when I was 12 I would have thought I’d have my life together at 18 never mind 19. This got me thinking. Do we ever know what we’re doing? Or do we all follow our noses and hope for the best? At 12 I had no idea how to spell or how to use grammar…heck I didn’t even know what grammar meant; I would never have imagined writing for fun and owning a blog. At 12 I was short and chubby (nobody fancied me wahhh) I’d never have thought that I would have an amazing boyfriend who loves me, me? That chubby, unpopular kid with glasses who used to pretend to be a dog .

If that’s a 7 year space, what am I going to be doing in the next 7 years? When I’ll be 26, will I be married? Have a job? Have children? Own a house or apartment?… Will I even be alive?…Will the Earth still exist? I hope so any way. 


3 thoughts on “What the hell am I doing?

  1. Dude, I’m 34 and I still don’t know what I’m doing! Not sure if that scares you or just allays your fears – basically everyone goes through life not knowing what they’re doing and feeling like a fraud. I think that’s OK. We all figure it out in our own time 🙂 xo


  2. I just love this post.

    It hit me quite late, the what the fuck am I doing with my life, and it’s still here, ESPECIALLY when I’m eating peanut butter from the jar, and reading a book instead of uni work and figuring what I should DO with my FUTURE.
    So I do love this post so.


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