I’m fairly certain that we will all admit to generating a fair amount of “bitchy” comments in our lifetimes. Usually more so when we were in our younger, more competitive teenage years. More often then not, I’ve found that bitchiness is used to cover jealousy; and in my opinion I would rather someone admit that they are jealous of someone, rather than picking out every lesser quality of an individual.
Last year I began to quieten down the bitch in my brain, so for example when I saw a person and immediately thought “oh jeez that girl has really frizzy hair”, I would then observe a positive quality about a person such as “but she has really pretty eyes”.
The more I did this, the more the habit of being a judgemental person decreased. Which lead to me replacing it with a much more positive habit of finding positives about people, and also situations.
However this seemed to change when I entered university, and I have only just realised this now I reflect back on my first year. All right I’ll admit it, I’m crap at making friends, unlike some people it takes me time to form a friendship. I discovered that people made friends at University from sharing a mutual dislike of a certain individual’s characteristics; both boys and girls, when people say that guys don’t bitch? Ha, some guys are often worse than girls.
Often I’d find myself establishing a new friendship over bitchy comments, the new positive habits I had created had switched back, did it make me feel better about myself? Did it fuck.
Sure it’s fine when you’re the one dishing the dirt, but when you’re on the receiving end it’s a whole other story! I don’t know whether I was bitched about at all during my time at university, but what I do know is that by knowing what people said about one-an-other it made me very anxious as to know what people said behind my back.
If just one person takes something away from this post who relates to anything I’m saying, please don’t think that you need to make friends by saying nasty comments about people, because more often than not, that friendship won’t last long.