Are we Adulting yet?

The term “adulting” now tends to pop up a lot in the dark dark world of the internet (possibly due to this tumblr/blog/book), it seems like all the social media savvy are around my age use this word. What scares me the most of all is that I’m certainly not adulting!…at least I don’t think I am… If you call watching Comedy Central re-runs of Friends on a Monday afternoon whist ignoring the existence of university being productive, I don’t think I’m quite there yet.

Image result for adulting

I’ve just entered my final year of university, at the end of my final freshers week I couldn’t help but feel that all the university fun will soon be over. I’ll begin the trauma of writing a dissertation (once I think of a topic and a question) and working towards modules that will actually count towards my final mark! But the aspect that I am most concerned about is finishing and going into the real world…or not going into the real world and instead doing a masters.

What do I want to do a job in? Dunno

What do I want to do a masters in? Dunno

If I didn’t know any better then I would be shit*ing myself for the future. However, I know for a fact that most 20 something and 30 something year olds don’t have a clue what they’re doing either, and just winging it. In fact my uncle is 50 odd and he told me that he still doesn’t know wants to be when he grows up.

I know that I am perfectly capable of living on my own…because I have. I know how to cook and generally keep myself alive. What I do not know is how taxes work, how a mortgage or loan works, how to buy a house, and how to change a light bulb (amongst many other tasks). So I am proposing that someone who is business savvy and knows how to do adult things, starts an Adulting course – preferably online – and of course for free. Or the government could actually propose that schools teach life skills, rather than trig.

If you’re reading this then let me know, do you know what you want to be when you grow up?

1

The evolution of Bitchiness

I’m fairly certain that we will all admit to generating a fair amount of “bitchy” comments in our lifetimes. Usually more so when we were in our younger, more competitive teenage years. More often then not, I’ve found that bitchiness is used to cover jealousy; and in my opinion I would rather someone admit that they are jealous of someone, rather than picking out every lesser quality of an individual.

Last year I began to quieten down the bitch in my brain, so for example when I saw a person and immediately thought “oh jeez that girl has really frizzy hair”, I would then observe a positive quality about a person such as “but she has really pretty eyes”.

The more I did this, the more the habit of being a judgemental person decreased. Which lead to me replacing it with a much more positive habit of finding positives about people, and also situations.

However this seemed to change when I entered university, and I have only just realised this now I reflect back on my first year. All right I’ll admit it, I’m crap at making friends, unlike some people it takes me time to form a friendship. I discovered that people made friends at University from sharing a mutual dislike of a certain individual’s characteristics; both boys and girls, when people say that guys don’t bitch? Ha, some guys are often worse than girls.

Often I’d find myself establishing a new friendship over bitchy comments, the new positive habits I had created had switched back, did it make me feel better about myself? Did it fuck.

Sure it’s fine when you’re the one dishing the dirt, but when you’re on the receiving end it’s a whole other story! I don’t know whether I was bitched about at all during my time at university, but what I do know is that by knowing what people said about one-an-other it made me very anxious as to know what people said behind my back.   

If just one person takes something away from this post who relates to anything I’m saying, please don’t think that you need to make friends by saying nasty comments about people, because more often than not, that friendship won’t last long.

signature

What the hell am I doing?

There comes a part in most people’s lives when they think, “what the hell am I doing?”.

It mostly comes after school, where you get spoon fed unnecessary information until you passed your GCSEs, and perhaps A Levels (no idea what they’re called in other countries)., then you have no idea where you want to go in life because you’ve never actually thought for yourself…you probably didn’t even decide what you were going to eat.

But mine come at such random moments… like when I’m scooping peanut butter/ Nutella out of the jar with my finger a spoon by the half tub. Or when I spend hours playing The Sims. Including making a family, building a house and won’t rest until I’ve gone through 3 generations to build a foundation for the family (the addiction is real). When I should be doing university work (reading about soil).

I mean… when I was 12 I would have thought I’d have my life together at 18 never mind 19. This got me thinking. Do we ever know what we’re doing? Or do we all follow our noses and hope for the best? At 12 I had no idea how to spell or how to use grammar…heck I didn’t even know what grammar meant; I would never have imagined writing for fun and owning a blog. At 12 I was short and chubby (nobody fancied me wahhh) I’d never have thought that I would have an amazing boyfriend who loves me, me? That chubby, unpopular kid with glasses who used to pretend to be a dog .

If that’s a 7 year space, what am I going to be doing in the next 7 years? When I’ll be 26, will I be married? Have a job? Have children? Own a house or apartment?… Will I even be alive?…Will the Earth still exist? I hope so any way. 

Life is no fairytale

I like how the media is kind of starting to be more realistic.  Disney princess films are, for example Brave demonstrates how teenage girls can be knob heads to their mothers (and yeah I can relate to that, however I don’t need her to turn into a bear to respect her), and Frozen shows you that falling in love and getting married in one day…well…that just spells disaster.

Growing up with the media the way it was, my life recently has sort of clicked. By that I don’t mean I’ve gone to Tasmania and “found myself”, no no. I mean that I’ve come to the sudden realisation that media doesn’t reflect real life. Which is quite a difficult concept to accept as we learn almost everything nowadays through media. Whether that be via documentaries, books, YouTube DIYs/lifestyle/beauty gurus.

Recently famous blogger/vlogger Zoella explained that her vlogs are only a few minutes of her day, and these are edited and can be deleted if she so chooses. These also do not show her down days, after all, who would want to share their down days?

Media is starting to change, but I’m not exactly sure whether that is for the better or not. As a kid it made me happy to know that I was going to marry prince charming and live happily ever after. If I was eight and I knew that I’d probably get cheated on, taken advantage of or may not get a good career. I’m not sure whether I would accept it quickly and enjoy my life, or become depressed that my life may not be what I want it to be… and I don’t even know what I want it to be.  

I usually hate these sort of quotes, but this sums it up pretty well

Also every time I have a down day or a panic attack, I used to think that I was strange as I thought I was the only one who has them. Not only because the media doesn’t mention things like this, but we also aren’t taught about these things at home or at school…well I was at A Level Psychology, but not everybody does that. It’s refreshing to see that these topics are getting discussed more.

Dates is the most popular thing that is blown out of proportion. Films don’t really show you the aftermath of being with somebody for a long time, which usually involves becoming fed up with them, you notice little habits or theirs that just piss you off. And sometimes if the relationship ends, it ends horrendously. I’ve come to realise that sometimes men are useless, totally not like in the movies, and no I’m not talking about them not getting you your £1,000,000 necklace when they are £170 into their overdraft. I’m on about going shopping with my dad when he doesn’t go through the bread to find the one with the best date on it, heck, he doesn’t even know where the best before date is on the bread.

Do you like the new realism of the media, or do you prefer the classic fairytale style?

Reflecting on my changes

 

BLQ-embrace-change-henri-bergson

Change is inevitable although most of us hate it. I’ve learnt to embrace change. Without it I’d be the more miserable, insecure version of myself I was a few years ago.

Personally I think more people should take the time to sit down and think of the many people they have been, and what sort of a person they are now. Come to think of it, most of us have changed from one sort of person to another, whether that be to turn vegetarian, quit drinking or have a child. Differences in our lives like these reflect on what sort of a person we are. For example, my mum used to be a daredevil, absolutely love roller coasters and stuff, but ever since having me, she can’t even go on a big wheel without shitting herself (not literally she isn’t that old).

I’m still pretty insecure and a miserable git (I’m British I’m allowed to be). Think of me as Chandler Bing. I’m an only child, very sarcastic, I use humour as a defence mechanism and ended up going out with one of my friends. However my dad is still the same gender. I’ve accepted that I’m that sort of person, I’m never going to be horrifically serious or not take the piss out of…well…everybody. In addition to these traits I’m also arrogant and up my own arse about the things I’m good at. However I have a caring and helpful personality, which I’m proud of, who doesn’t like to be nice?

large

 

Over the past few years I’ve taught myself not to let people boss me around, and not do something to please somebody else and not me. I used to be friends with some right bitches, who used to be “friends” with people but just bitch about them behind their backs, pretty sure (100% sure) they did the same to me too. But back then if you were friends with those people, you had to conform and therefore bitch a hell of a lot about the same people they were. What an idiot I was. Thank god those friendships are over now.

It’s surprising how many friends I’m left with now I’ve cut out all that negativity (not that many). Besides I don’t want 100s of friends, too much commitment.

I’m far less of a bitch then what I used to be, occasionally I’ll make a comment if someone has an annoying voice or a selfish attitude. Humans are pretty bitchy creatures when you think about it, don’t get why that term is named after dogs which are incredibly selfless and loyal.

As well as this,  I’m also far less shy a person than before. In lower school I’d keep myself to myself, but as I went through to sixth form I found myself becoming more vocal. Therefore encouraging others too as well (sorry not sorry Mrs Oakley). I still hate talking to people I don’t know because I have no idea what to talk about, not that I don’t want to start a conversation. I admire people who have this ability, perhaps some time I will be able to do it.

If anyone can think of some way that they have changed, please do share to fuel my nosiness.

-BethanNicole

Three songs

Music is amazing. I’ve always wished I was more musical, but I am far too impatient to learn an instrument. It’s baffling how something that you listen to can make such a big impact on your mood and the atmosphere around you. Having anxiety, I find it beneficial to listen to music and it puts my mind at ease and distracts me from the real world.

Favourite songs however, are always hard for me to choose, its always depends on my mood. When I prefer to be uplifted I tend to listen to songs that are fairly upbeat, usually remixed crap top 40 songs to make them sound better…apart from Pitbull…you can never make him better. Or a bitta cheesy pop that I never admit that I listen to. My mind is always suited to songs that have amazing lyrics, perhaps it’s because I’ve always been fond of reading and writing. It’s amazing how putting string letters – symbols – together in a sequence of sentences, verses, stanzas or paragraphs, can make you feel emotion.

Baring in mind this is excluding all Disney songs. My first favourite song is Wonderwall by Oasis. It takes me back to my youth, not quite the 90s cause I was only born in 1995, Oasis one of the only bands that I used to listen to when I was younger that I can still stand listening to (along with Busted and McFly). I can no longer stand S Club 7 or Spice Girls *shiver*. I love the lyrics and the pace of this song, I find that it calms me without making me bored.

Coming in at second is Beth by Kiss. Ok ok this may be because the title is my name, but this song is AMAZING. It’s got a slow pace but its lyrics I can relate to, it’s beautiful. I like all Kiss songs anyway.

Year 3000 (Busted) is obviously got to be in my top 3, this never gets old. And seeing McBusted in May made me love this song all over again (I cried when I went to see them, yes I’m that lame). Some songs from your youth never get old, and I love that they bring together people from the same generation.

I’m probably going to hate these songs in the future, and who knows I might get obsessed with Pitbull (if I ever do, promise to hit me over the head)

-BethanNicole